I live in Nyc and the dating scene is tough.. Its like either hedge fund mafia wall street douches, guys only interested in one night stands, or total bridge and tunnel guidos. All my girl friends resort to online dating, which I still cannot succumb to. They end up settling for lame-ass nerds, who had blow up dolls as girlfriends in high school. Anyways, I was out at Lavo and this good looking guy and i hit it off. We have been going out on a few dates, and last night we went back to his place. Lets say.. fireworks didnt happen.. Nothing happened.. We tried, and...failed. He wasn't drunk either, so there shouldnt be any excuse as to why things were malfunctioning.. Is it me? Do you think he's not attracted to me or is this normal for guys. My guy friends are giving me PC answers not to hurt my feelings, but I need truth. Should I try again? I'm completely embarrassed. He was supposed to be my NYE date, but I dont know if I should bbm him something or just leave it. He patted me on the shoulder goodbye when I left his place...
Tough issue, but why are you embarrassed? It's him who has all the embarrassment in this situation. The first question you should ask yourself is aside from all the sex, is this guy better than all the douche bags you first described in that shitty NYC dating scene you were talking about? If he isn't really that different then yeah leave this fool to wallow in his misery and let the next unsuspecting lady deal with this problem. If he is, well then it really is up to you to go with it and try to solve this little issue.
A lot of women in this situation would think it is them that is causing this 'mechanical problem' and part of it might be you but not in a bad way, the inconvenient fool might just be too intimidated by your hotness and he simply choked up during the first playoff game. This can be remedied by simply helping the guy out with his little mental block and performance anxiety the next time around. The mental pressures and lack of self confidence are enough to put the erection on standby.
Other reasons he can't get it up for you
-He watches a lot of porn
-He masturbates too much
-He is secretlygay and won't tell you or doesn't know it yet
-He has a lot on his mind and is stressed out
-His religous or social upbringing causes him to detract from sex so fast
-He is hung up over an ex and can't stop thinking of her and fucking you is like cheating on her
-He drinks and smokes too much Something in his diet or medication is causing impotence
-He has a known or an unknown health problem
But more often than not related to that last point, this could actually be pretty serious and he should check with his doctor or a urologist and ask about his uninflatable appendage. In the end it's up to you whether or not you want to deal with this little project or let it be and go and find yourself another NYE date who will really make you scream in the New Year.
answered 21 Dec '11, 16:29
You should cut your losses and move on to the next guy. I have never had a problem getting it up for a girl that I am attracted to. I only have problems when the girl doesn’t do it for me and I am just trying to hit it to increase ‘number’. Even if I muddle through the situation and end up closing (this involves me thinking of someone else), I will never call her again. Find another NYE date and don’t bbm him. He is not attracted to you. Plus at the end of the day do you really want to be with a guy who will have problems consistently satisfying you?
answered 20 Dec '11, 11:15