We've been dating for years, and he never buys me anything! He has money, but has never bought me even flowers. All the girls talk about how their men get theme jewelry, flowers, gifts, cards, etc.. but I get shit!

asked 07 Nov '11, 01:17

kc3's gravatar image

accept rate: 0%

haha so your boyfriend doesn't get you gifts and all you get is shit? Well it's not your fault.

He is either an ass who doesn't care about you, which I doubt because you've been dating him for years. Or he doesn't see the point in buying useless random presents to show affection because it's just stupid because the flowers will die anyway. Or he is a decent enough guy and one of the reasons he doesn't buy you gifts is that he probably doesn't want to disappoint you with a crappy gift, or what he thinks you would think would be a crappy gift, or you saying something not totally appreciative about it. Something like 'oh honey you shouldn't have' or shit like for me...now what will i do with this?' This goes back in time when he got something for the women in his past and they would end up returning it, or stuffing it to the side or never wearing it or displaying it proudly. Not realizing that their caveman boyfriend was actually a sensitive brotha who actually took the time and effort to try and buy her something special. But macho man isn't going to bring it up that his feelings were hurt. So as a defense mechanism...he simply won't buy gifts for the next girl because he doesn't want to disappoint you and he doesn't want to hurt his fragile ego again. I'm pretty sure your bf is capable of buying shit but those past women in his life ie; mother or other girlfriends probably ruined his gift giving capacity for you.

So how do I get my man to start buying me gifts?

  1. Talk to the brotha, he's probably a reasonable guy and you should have an open communication channel to go over little things like this. You've got to retrain him out of that mindset he's got about buying or in this case not buying you anything randomly.
  2. Model the behavior you want him to do, this might sound dumb but start buying your man gifts...he'll feel like an idiot if you start getting him little things here and there and will want to start reciprocating the gestures...and usually he'll out do your gestures so that the Starbucks gift card/coffee-tumbler you get him will return to you some nice earrings or some thing...good luck.
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answered 08 Nov '11, 19:33

elCapitan's gravatar image

accept rate: 66%

Great post, this is especially helpful with Valentine's day coming up! Thanks!!! :)


answered 22 Jan '12, 23:22

RachelC's gravatar image

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Asked: 07 Nov '11, 01:17

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Last updated: 22 Jan '12, 23:22

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